Fame
by x.soaked-silly
Summary: She became loved at the age of nineteen. She was America's girl. Sarcastic, witty, mean, she was atypical and different and the country ate that up. Of course with fame comes money and with money comes an invincible feeling and obviously Jade took advantage of that. 7DOV Compromise/Drinnking About You/Sins all in one.


_Fame_

_She once knew a girl. A girl that always smiled._

.

He isn't very street smart. Isn't a very good writer, can't do sports, doesn't know how to carry on a normal conversation, isn't handsome or built or cute or anything really all that special. But if there's one thing he is, it's a good interviewer.

Robbie grabs his pencil and paper, throws on his coat, and rushes out the door, snatching the fedora hanging on the handle as he goes. Wasting no time, he pounces into the elevator, crushes the lobby button and anxiously taps his pencil against the pad of paper. He isn't very on time either.

At the ding, he bolts forward, managing to only hit the still opening doors with his shoulder, and stumbles into the lobby haphazardly. "Chiz nuggets," he mumbles under his breath as he strides through the lobby and then the front door, nodding to the guard posted outside. Without any hesitation, he throws himself into the waiting limousine, announcing only that he was sorry for the haste but the driver needed to step on it. And off he went, whisking away into the New York roads.

Only ten minutes. She is ten minutes away. This is going to be the most fascinating interview he has ever conducted even though he had been told on multiple occasions to just drop it. Not to do it. No one cares about Jade West anymore. She was a thing of the past, someone who chose the wrong road, making the media want nothing to do with her.

But of course he wasn't in this job for the money. Just for the experience. So after much haggling and debating, he finally acquired a small space in next week's newspaper edition. It wasn't much, but he didn't care. As long as he was able to conduct this interview, he was fine. And besides, when was the last time he talked to Jade?

"Almost there Robbie."

"Got it."

As it turns out, upon arrival, Jade West didn't live in much. A small, beaten apartment. It was sad really.

"You can just drop me off here. Thanks Sal."

"Anytime Robbie."

Once the car rolls to a stop, Robbie jumps out, slams the door, and hurries into the run down building. He was running late.

Inside wasn't much better than the outside. Poorly decorated, scratched, even broken furniture, sitting in a small lobby (although he's not sure if that could be considered a lobby or a closet really). The paint was peeling off the wall and there was no receptionist. It reminded him of the time they all went to Yerba and had to stay in that god awful hotel.

Spotting a hallway, Robbie decides to power walk down it, scanning the numbers on the doors of the rooms. _10, 11, 12…_He halts in front of 13. Clearing his throat, he knocks on the door and in a questioning voice, calls, "Jade?"

"Coming." In a mere second, the door swings open and inside stands the lovely Jade West, sunken cheeks, pale skin, bones showing, slightly matted black hair with dark green highlights, grey eyes almost black. She's wearing leggings and a long plaid shirt that is buttoned specifically so that one could see her bra.

"Hi Jade," Robbie offers a sheepish smile, taken aback by the amount of skin showing and how awful Jade looks. Not to say that he hasn't seen the numerous pictures of her. No, no, he has, but seeing her in person…It takes away his breath.

At the sound of his voice, Jade's eyes narrow, mouth flashing into a frown, like she wasn't aware that it was him before he spoke up. There's anger in her eyes, undeniable anger, and although it still scares him as much as it did in high school, there's something refreshing about seeing some emotion flitter through that face. "Robbie." It's not spoken warmly, and it's not spoken with any hint of welcoming, but it is spoken like Jade and so Robbie just looks at her and smiles dopily, glad to see she's not quite dead yet.

"I didn't know they were going to send you. I wouldn't have agreed."

"Can I come in now?"

Tight lipped, she nods and Robbie steps into the room without any reaction as he was expecting this. The room is mostly black, the curtains drawn, a smell of smoke wafting from the tiny kitchen. There's a mess on the floor near the couch that he can only assume to be alcohol. The couch is ripped, the furniture mostly broken, not to mention the hole in the television, and nothing looks clean.

The room is saturated with nicotine.

"Um, quite the place you've got here Jade," Robbie tries, having no idea what to say now that he was here. He has a small introduction written on his paper that goes something like:

_Hi. I know we haven't talked in a while and I'm sorry I didn't tell you that I would be the reporter coming, but here I am and it's nice to see you, it really is…_

And so on and so forth, but it suddenly feels like a major cop out, like he's being fake and like he hasn't known Jade his entire life.

"Don't do that."

"R-right ma'am."

The corners of her mouth tug upward, if only for a second.

"So, are we going to get started on this or what?"

"O-oh yes, most definitely. Can we sit somewhere?"

"Sure." Jade plops on the couch and informs Robbie that he can sit on the end. Robbie complies without any complaint, even though the couch is just a little bit sticky. After sitting down and managing not to grimace at the thought that he would probably get sick from being here, Robbie looks down at his notebook. There are five questions on it, just to get him started, but they all seem…wrong now. In fact, everything about this interview just seems wrong. He puts aside his notebook and as he does so, Jade's sharp eyes follow it, confusion fluttering across her face.

"I don't need it."

"Okay, whatever."

"So Jade…How did it feel to become famous?"

.

_She liked that girl. That girl with the smile._

.

After high school, they had all gone separate ways. Andre went to a music college where he eventually became a songwriter and singer and now has a few hits including songs that he collaborated on with other famous singers. Robbie went off to some artistic college so that he could practice ventriloquism. Beck, after an emotional goodbye, went to war because, as he put it, _there's just nothing left of me._ (Later, _don't you mean _for_ me?_ He answered, _yeah, that too)_. And her red headed friend? She moved in with her grandma who was living only two hours away from the high school. No one knows why.

But Jade…Jade became a celebrity. After participating in short films, writing a script for a movie that eventually found its way into theaters, and singing at any gigs she could get, she was finally noticed. She was asked to write a film for a very successful movie production company, and then cast herself as the main character. Stupid? Incredibly. But the film reached number one in the box office.

She became loved at the age of nineteen.

She was America's girl. Sarcastic, witty, mean, she was atypical and different and the country ate that up. After all, Hollywood is just about bitches and sluts and really nothing more.

Of course with fame comes money and with money comes an invincible feeling and of course Jade took advantage of that and since she was already into cigarettes and alcohol, it wasn't hard to go that next step.

Except it was hard to stop the step that came after that.

Sooner than not, she was caught smoking. She was pardoned once as everyone understands experimentation and no one understands that she was already killing herself years before this, and she was excused the next time and the next time until they found her doing drugs. That was when the first of her fans started to turn their back. That news story made headlines and when she went on she found rather rude comments about her and she realized she better get her act together.

But she found it was easier to hide it then to change.

So she was able to hide it for a few months and people began to believe that she had changed and this drug abuse was only a one time ordeal. Unlucky for her that when Beck Oliver was driving into California after only one year of being in training, they decided to follow him. Because of course the second he was on his way back, he texted her because he misses her and wanted to come see her. And the media knows Beck was her ex and on a total coincidence, some reporter spotted him in the local wine store and had the indecency to follow him.

He lead the reporter right to her house and when he parked his car and got out of it, the reporter did the same and immediately was in his way. _You're Beck Oliver! Nice to see you back. You going to see Jade? You back together? Is that wine? Is she an alcoholic too? _Snap, snap, snap.

Pushy as ever with some unfortunate pictures, a news story was soon posted the next day. Of course when Beck came in and told her the news she was immediately angry and almost threw the bottle of wine against the wall. However, after yelling for a long period of time, she sunk to her knees, crying because of course this would happen, of course it would. And Beck, loyal as ever, comforted her, gave her a drink, and slept with her.

In the morning he left before she woke up and she knew that he would never come back again. Just had a feeling. And he never did.

But the media continued hyping up the story that they were together and were out partying every night and doing other explicit things. It only served to drive her deeper into addiction.

So they caught her again. And again. And again. And then no one was on her side and Jade West became Jade _Was _and no one likes things of the past so she suffered in isolation, trying to get better while the world already considered her dead.

.

"Being famous was…bullshit." A smile that didn't quite reach her foggy eyes. A sarcastic remark without the sting.

Robbie looks at her, observes her, then, "You're not dead yet."

And she just looks at him, helpless hopeless, everything dark. _I am._ It just hangs in the air, never spoken, never voiced. Just hangs, hangs, hangs.

"Have you ever tried to get clean?" And he doesn't really need to ask because he's already been able to read Jade, but he does it anyway, just to hear her say something, something that might point to hope, to life, to anything but this deep, sorrowful pit she has fallen into.

.

_On the worst days, this girl would be there. And she would be happy._

.

It wasn't easy. To do it alone. No, in isolation it was much easier to slip, slip, slip into the creeping darkness, succumb to the addiction coursing through her veins, wrapping itself around her heart, squeezing, squeezing, squeezing. It was constricting, and it was freeing, and it was everything in between. The minute she injected herself, the heaviness weighing on her vanished, and she could swear she could float. And there was nothing tying her down and there was nothing that could bring her down. No one could hurt her because there was no one to reach her.

But when she crashed, when it was all done, the sickly shivers of death would return, creeping up her spine, wrapping itself tight around her, pulling her back to the depths of hell where she belonged, where she had just tried to escape from, to be free, to be someone else besides this empty shell of a demon.

So she kept going back for more and she started to seek comfort in other people as well even though she previously was so independent. She still is independent, she tells herself, because she is just doing this to know that she can still feel something. It's funny, ironic, she thinks, how in high school she prided herself on not feeling much at all, but now all she wants to do is feel something besides this numbness crawling up her body. So in a desperate attempt to still be someone, _something_, she began to sleep with others. It didn't always work. She was still Jade West after all and who wouldn't want the privilege to say they slept with Jade Freakin' West and there were one night stands and there were people who would take advantage of her and somehow half of the time she came home she was dragging herself back, blood and dirt plastered to the remaining clothing, except not all the blood was hers and not all the dirt was just dirt.

But yet, it was almost easier to live this way. Pain was something. It was something besides nothing. So she continued to go.

Until one time she had enough at the bar and was ready to stumble home and drown herself in more liquor, but she was stopped by a man and she already knew what he wanted and on normal circumstances she would have said yes, but she had already done what she came to do for the night so she was ready to go home. He wasn't ready to let her go home. Slurred speech and slow reactions, the man was completely tipsy. It crossed her mind that he was handsome and she wondered if he had been sober would he even act like this?

But even though she said no, he ignored her and ended up hitting her over the head with a glass and yelling obscenities at her. Things she would never forget. As soon as he hit her, he had been restrained by other alcoholics, or sober people, or cops or she doesn't remember, all she remembers is crying the entire way home even though Jade West never cries. She remembers everything he had said, every word that dug itself deep into her heart, into her soul, infecting her, poisoning her more than she already was. More than any tar or nicotine can ever do.

She passed out that night on the floor in her own tears and spit and vomit after vowing to herself to become sober.

Thirty six hours later, she was huddled in the corner of her room, tremors racking her body, sweat pouring down her face although she wasn't sure if that was sweat or if it was blood or dirt or even her own tears.

Her eyes stung and she felt unstable, like she could fall over at any moment and god, what was she seeing? Moving furniture, swirling carpets, shit that wasn't real. And, and, and it was her. It was _her._ She was the one causing all of this.

Jade's eyes narrowed, and even though her brain hurt like hell, she knew just what was happening. "What do you what me to do? I don't know what else to say! I'm sorry okay? Is that what you want to hear you pathetic slut? I'm fucking sorry! I'm so fucking sorry, I didn't mean to leave you, I didn't know what to do. Are you happy now? 'Cause I sure as hell aren't! Why can't you just leave me alone for once!"

But it did nothing and the girl stood there, smiling, shimmering, and Jade was in too much pain to tell if the smile was genuine or not. In another hour, Jade somehow mustered up the strength and grabbed a bottle of alcohol from her cabinet and downed the whole thing. It wasn't the last time she tried to get sober and it wasn't the worst.

.

"Why does it matter. I never will be."

And Robbie knows her well enough to know that it does matter, because she's Jade West and she can't just die like this

"Have you seen her?"

And it's like a hurricane because all the destruction that has happened in her life is resurfaced.

.

_The girl was her lifeline. The girl would save her from drowning._

.

It was when she was at a bar, drunk as she's worth, and she spots a red headed girl who is coming to get a drink, hanging on the arm of some guy. It takes a minute, but she knows that red hair. She'd recognize it anywhere.

The girl is laughing, smiling, dressed more like a kid than an adult and it's apparent she doesn't belong in a place like this, even though she is legal. The pair sit down and the guy grins at her while she talks, talks, talks and the girl could talk for hours even if no one was listening and Jade can see the corners of the guy's mouth pulling downwards even in her drunken state.

"Can I buy you a drink?"

It's a man who's talking to her and suddenly she's really not in the mood to have a good time so she shakes her head and tells him to get lost. He tries to persuade her, saying things she just can't comprehend, but she continually denies his efforts and finally, in some clumsy, drunken, idiotic mistake, he attempts to grab the drink he set down next to her and ends up whacking her. It's not very hard, but she wasn't very balanced so she falls to the ground and she's so used to this abuse she thinks about not saying anything, but then she thinks of that red headed girl a few seats down and wonders why that girl never spoke up and then she starts crying. Bawling. And as she does she screeches, "Cat! Cat, Catcatcatca…"

And the girl comes.

Jade passes out.

When she wakes up, she's in a brightly colored room. Immediately, she knows where she is. It seems like eons ago when she would spend the weekend up here with Cat when her grandma was off traveling the world.

Cat.

She looks around, a pounding headache splitting her skull. "Cat," she whispers, not very loudly, partly because she's afraid if she talks she'll just fall apart and partly because she's ashamed. She is independent. She doesn't need anyone's help, especially not the help of this girl.

She leans back into the pillow and soon falls asleep again, exhaustion overriding the small but persistent anxiousness to stay awake and see Cat.

A few hours pass by and it's not until she hears the door open that she's roused. Blearily, she blinks her eyes, glad to notice the headache has gone down. She still feels like a brick wall when she tries to move, but it's better than her head slicing open. She wiggles up in the bed, grey eyes pinpointing the red head.

Cat smiles at her, places a glass of water by her bedside and then goes to leave, but before she does, she leans in the doorway and looks back. "I missed you." And then she's gone. Gone, gone, gone.

Jade drinks her water, feeling more emotionally drained than she has felt in a while and that's saying something because she didn't have much emotion to start with. Soon she leans back and falls asleep once again.

The next time she wakes up she's feeling more refreshed and more able to think. Judging by the light shining in through the pink curtains, it seems to be morning or mid-morning or something of the sort. Throwing off the covers, she jumps out of bed, ignoring the nauseated feeling following her abrupt movements. However, she works through the feeling, shakes the soreness out of her muscles, and half walks half stumbles through the cream colored door.

She goes down the hall to the bathroom and turns on the shower head to wash herself. It's when she's in the shower when Cat comes in, no knocking, just comes in. "I brought you some clothes…don't worry, they're not too bright." She exits and Jade is left alone, wondering why Cat even bothers with niceties.

After showering and dressing, Jade makes her way down the stairs to the kitchen only to be greeted by the smiling face of one Caterina Valentine. "Hi Jadey!" she hums, then places a dish of pancakes on the table. Jade inwardly grimaces at the use of the old nickname Cat had given her. _Of course she remembers._

Jade pulls up a seat and puts a pancake on her plate, then adds the syrup.

"I can't wait for today! Can we go get ice cream? Oh no wait, let's go to Karaoke Doakie! I can't be-"

"I need to go home."

Immediately, Cat begins to pout. "Pleaseeee?"

"No."

"Pleaseeeeeee-"

"No!"

"…Well you can't get home 'cause you don't have a car," Cat slyly adds with a giggle at the end.

Jade sighs heavily, sinking down in her chair. "I can just walk home Cat."

Defeated, Cat hangs her head and plays with her fingers. "Just one day Jade. I haven't seen you in forever."

"Maybe we should keep it that way." It's meant to be spoken more softly, but it has an edge. A threat in it and even though Cat has learned over the years to not take much offense to the sadistic way Jade messed with people, she knows that Jade means this. She really does.

"Fine."

The rest of breakfast is mostly Cat pouting and the drive home is still just Cat pouting. It's only when Jade offers to buy her a cupcake at a bakery near her house that Cat perks up, anger completely dissipated. After purchasing the cupcake only for Cat to scarf it down her throat, the red head begins to talk.

"Jade I haven't seen you in a year! Or has it been more than a year? I got some new stuff from Sky St- oh, uh, I mean I got some new stuff from…Sssstore Sky…Yeah, store sky. It's so amazing! How have you been Jade? I saw your new movie! It was super good. Well, the parts I was allowed to watch." Voice dropping to a whisper she adds, "You know, 'cause it's kind of…raunchy." She looks side to side shiftily, making sure there was no one around even though they were in a car.

"Thanks."

"You're welcome! But really, how have you been?"

Jade grits her teeth, clenching the steering wheel tightly (she never trusted Cat to drive). "Why are you acting like this?"

"Like wha-"

"Don't give me that shit. You aren't that stupid, I know you're not. So why are you acting like this? Like we've been," and here Jade does a voice mockery of Cat, "best friends since forever and always and ever and ever."

"…That's so rude," Cat mumbles discouraged like a child that was just reprimanded.

"Stop deflecting."

"Becauseeee Jade."

"Why Cat."

"Becauseeee-"

"Because why!"

"Because I love you!"

The rest of the car ride is made in silence. When Jade pulls into the driveway, parks the car, and goes to get out, Cat stops her and hands her a slip of paper that must have crumpled and flattened a thousand times over. "Just in case," she says with a grin that doesn't reach her eyes.

Jade leaves, carefully placing the paper in her jacket pocket.

.

The first time Jade uses it is when she's limping home from the bar, bloodied and beaten. Cat comes in no time flat. They don't live very far apart, maybe only a half hour. Maybe. Either way, Cat makes it there quickly and rushes in the door, concern plastered on her face, just like always.

She quickly sets to work on helping Jade and soon Jade is clean and in her bed, half asleep, half in terror. "Shh." The rhythmic rubbing of Cat's hand on her back is doing almost nothing to help.

"They're going to kill me, I'm going to die, they're going to kill me."

And Cat just hugs her close as she shivers, eyes wide, half seeing half not. She's dreaming but she's awake and she's so tired she could pass out yet she's so terrified she can't fall asleep. Mostly she just wants to die, die, die. Let them kill her, let them murder her, she doesn't care anymore.

"They're not going to kill you," Cat reassures her, putting her chin on Jade's shoulder, letting the other girl know she is here and she will protect her.

"Then I'm going to kill myself."

And she probably will.

After a few hours go by, both girls are passed out on the bed, Cat's arms around Jade and Jade's head huddled in Cat's shoulder.

.

"Yes." And that's all she says and that's all she's going to say on the matter. Robbie narrows his eyes at her. After the reaction she just had, he's not going to leave without a proper answer.

"Tell me Jade. How did you end up in New York?"

.

_But one day the girl made a bad decision. And even though she smiled, everything still went wrong._

.

Time after time, Cat came to Jade's rescue. Every time she was drunk, Cat came. Every time Jade was lonely, Cat was there. It was only when Jade was experiencing withdrawal symptoms that she decided she wanted Cat to always be there.

She had been trying to get sober. Again. This time it was worse. This time she was lying on her bed, huddled up, screaming. They were coming to get her, she was dying, she was bloody. Her hands, they were covered in it, sticky and slick and rubbing onto her clothes and she screeched and she screamed, except nothing was stopping. Not the pounding headache, not the blood gushing from her wounds, soaking into the bed, staining the pillows, and certainly not _them_.

She fumbled with her pocket until she got her phone out and shakily she dialed Cat's number. She didn't need to do anything but scream for Cat to come racing. Still, it felt like hours went by. Hours of watching them in the shadows, haunting her. They were going to get her, they would get her. What were they, the beastly demons? The shadows flickered into shapes. Human forms, and from those shadows emerged a girl with bloodied hair, yelling at Jade, screaming at her.

"Go away!"

"Jade, it's Cat! It's Cat, it's only me Jadey!"

"Why are you here again? I already told you never to come back. I hate you! Ugh!" Jade grabbed her head and shut her eyes tightly, rocking back and forth. "Are you fucking stupid? Of course you are. That's what everyone else thinks, right? Well that's what I think too. So go away!"

Cat stands there, motionless, tears forming in her eyes.

When she didn't hear Cat leave, Jade rose her voice. "So you're just going to stay until I say it again, right? How many times do I have to say I'm sorry for you to leave me in peace? I'm sorry, Cat! I'm sorry Cat! I didn't mean to hurt you when I left. I didn't mean to do anything to you. You just gotta understand…I'm fucked up. And I love you. And I'm fucked up, I'm fucked up, I'm fucke…" she trails off into whispers, sweat dripping down her body.

"Jadey…I'm right here, don't send me away," Cat pleads, approaching the bed and sitting on it. Jade just continues to hold her head and whisper, so Cat gently places her hands atop of Jade's pale ones. "You're okay." And it might just be her imagination, but Jade's grip loosens at the words and then she slips into unconsciousness.

The next day is like that. In and out of consciousness. Yelling and screaming. Whispering and crying. Mood swings come and go and finally, there is a window where Jade is lucid. She looks over at Cat, exhaustion brimming her eyes, face sunken, cheeks swollen.

"I need a bottle…bottle of wine."

Cat smiles at her from ear to ear. "Well you can't have it!"

Jade smirks and rolls onto her back. A minute or so passes and a frown begins to form on her face.

"Jade? Are you ok-"

"Did I say anything to you while this was happening?"

"…Yeah."

"I'm sorry."

"It's okay, you didn't only say bad things. You said good things too!"

"Cat, move with me to New York."

And it takes a second, but really it's a no brainer and it always has been.

"Okay."

Later Jade sneaks a can of beer outside, claiming she needed some fresh air, and drank the whole thing. It wasn't easy to cover up the scent, but she managed. Besides, the smoke in her house was so heavy that Cat wouldn't be able to tell anyway.

She's got this under control. She can keep it hidden, at least for a little bit. The drugs though. That will be a bit harder.

.

"I didn't want to live in California anymore, so I came here. I had money at the time, so I stayed in a decent apartment."

"See, that wasn't so hard was it?" Robbie grins, glad he finally got somewhat of an answer out of her. He thought she would be a bit more open considering they hadn't seen each other in years, but Jade West is a tough girl and he underestimated how easily she could push people away.

"Whatever, is that all?"

"Uh, no. What did you do when you came here?"

.

_Because her smile was brilliant and it was radiant and it was everything good and innocent, but in the end it was just a smile. Just something to become a memory._

.

It was in New York City when Cat figured out that Jade was using again. And little complacent, loving, kind, gentle Cat blew up. _How could you when I agreed to come here with you? _Of course the argument ended with, _I love you Jade, it's okay_. In high school, that's always how their arguments had gone. A drunk or high Jade was no stranger to Cat. After all, everything started in their junior year. And it went through their senior year and then Jade had decided to just up and leave Cat and go somewhere and never tell her where or what she was going to do. Jade called it protecting her because she would just end up dying. Cat called it masochistic and selfish.

She never made much sense.

However, Jade felt like she was back in high school, instead now she made an effort to become sober. But with every fail, she became increasingly frustrated and Cat began to become increasingly depressed. So one day, when she was high or drunk or both, she walked outside. Just walked, walked, walked, until she came to a train station. She stepped on the tracks and stared straight ahead. If she was going to die anyway, might as well die now.

But of course, Cat being overly attached, had followed Jade.

"Jade, why!" she screamed, looking at the other girl hopelessly.

"Go away, Cat. There's no train coming. Nothing's going to happen to me."

"Why can't you just get sober?"

"Because."

"Fine. Then I'll do it too!" she screeches over the wind, over the noise, over the hustle and bustle of the city.

"What are you talking about?"

"I'll do it too!" And then she turns and runs, runs, runs, bright pink converse slapping along the pavement as she goes. It's Jade's turn to watch helplessly as she goes, knowing that she just made a mistake, but still trying to deny it. Just like always.

In a few minutes she heads back home, not exactly prepared for what she finds, which is a red haired girl downing a can of beer and tossing it beside two other cans. Jade rushes over to her, knocking the three cans on the table to the floor. She grabs Cat's shoulders and shakes them, eyes wide with shock.

"Cat, what are you doing? Are you insane! You're going to kill yourself!"

"I don't care. If you refuse to get better, then I'll get worse. Then we can go through it together."

The sound of a slap resonates through the house and Cat's jaw drops open in surprise.

Then Jade draws Cat in, hugging her tightly, tears pouring down her face. "I'm going to hell."

And Cat almost says no you're not, but she holds her tongue because they both know the truth.

True to her word, Cat starts going to bars and doing drugs and partying. Sleeping with people and getting drunk. She's disgusting, and she knows it, which is why when she comes home she spends an hour in the shower and cleans the house for a few hours. If she can't detect the stench of smoke and alcohol, maybe she can pretend this isn't happening.

Jade tried to stop her, she did, but every time she would leave the house, whenever she got back, Cat would be gone. The only way to make sure Cat would stay in the house would be to stay with her, except they needed to eat and Jade needed her cigarettes and things like that, so when she would leave, Cat would go to the bar. Then she tried getting sober, because she couldn't let Cat live like that anymore. Coming home with bruises and scars, beaten and dirtied.

So she tried to get sober, except when she lasted a few days, Cat would relapse within a day.

She never did have much willpower.

Finally there came a day when both of them were lucid and both of them could think at least somewhat straight. Cat was dirty and she hadn't cleaned up in two days and Jade was skinny and emaciated and hadn't bothered to eat much of anything for the past four days. But here they were, broken yet whole for the moment.

"Cat. You need to stop."

"Only when you stop."

"I've been clean for a week and a half now."

"I'll get there."

"Cat, listen to me, you need help."

"You're all the help I need! I told you we're in this together!"

"Then why haven't you been sober with me! Why are you leaving me alone!" And Jade West never cries so it's a wonder when tears gather at the corners of her eyes.

"I'll get there!"

"You're going to die! If not from the drugs, then from the people, and if not from them then from yourself!"

"Am not! They would never hurt me, I can control when I quit, and I would never hurt myself because I'm happy just being here with you."

Jade lunges forward and crushes her lips on top of Cat's. "Cat, I love you. Don't let them touch you anymore. Stay here with me. Don't go."

And Jade never expresses her feelings and she never does much of anything emotionally wise, so for her to say that confuses Cat. Makes her feel warm and gooey on the inside. "I love you too, Jade. I promise I'll stay."

And she does stay. And Jade holds her when she has nightmares and hallucinations and Cat comforts Jade when she had those urges to start using again. They do things normal couples do and they hold hands and they whisper things to each other and they live happily.

Except one day Jade goes out to get some food for dinner and when she returns, Cat is not there. Panicked, she hops in the car and races to the bar. She knows. She knows Cat is relapsing.

When she gets there, the red head is nowhere to be seen. She demands the bartender to tell her what a read headed girl was doing here and after being insulted and almost punctured with scissors, the bartender relinquishes that the red head was taken to the hospital. _Didn't look good, girl was barely breathing_.

And when Jade gets to the hospital, they tell her what happened.

And then she drops to her knees and cries because she's Jade Freakin' West and she's been crying a lot lately.

.

"Got sober. She got addicted."

And it's now when Robbie realizes what Jade has been avoiding telling him and his eyes go wide and after a moment of disbelief he drops his face into his hands and his eyes well up. Just tears ghosting on the lips of his eyes. Because he loved the little red head and always would. Even when they hadn't seen each other in years. She was his first friend.

.

_And the girl left the other. And the other never forgot the girl with the smile._

.

After the news, Jade gave all her money away to charities, to mental institutions, to anywhere and everywhere and relapsed and began to use drugs again. She rented a small apartment with the remainder of her money and now just tried to live day by day. Except it wasn't really living and she found that even though she always thought it would be her to die young, it would be Cat.

And all because of her.

.

After that question, Robbie gathered his papers and left the house, never to go back. He was silent on the ride back to his work and silent as his boss tried to question him on how everything had gone. After all, they were friends and this was Jade West they were talking about. Finally, after remaining unresponsive, Robbie finally spoke his peace of mind.

"I'm not going to publish the interview."

"Why not?"

"Because Jade West lived a long and lonely life and no one needs to know why."

"Whad'ya mean? She was loved by everyone!"

"Almost everyone."

And then Robbie leaves, lost in his mind.

Because Jade always thought she would be the one killed, but instead she was the killer.

* * *

><p><em>Author's Note: Because no one really means for these things to happen.<em>


End file.
